you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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