I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize