i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
