ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
