i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
