is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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