I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
