they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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