the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
