My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
