walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
