we're blogging at a bar
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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