you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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