he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
