dude i'm inner monologue high
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
