So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize