tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
