White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
