is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize