When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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