Just mADE A PArabola og urine
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
