So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think i got beer on your cat.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
