He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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