I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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