dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
