Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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