This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This is the high leading the old right now
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
