woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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