bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
