she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
