Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
