Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
