Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
