I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
