so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize