Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someone shattered a urinal.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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