Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
