I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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