I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
