dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
