I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
