i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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