I can text with my tongue
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
