I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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