Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
