My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize