About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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