can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
