I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The beer is more important than you right now.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
