If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
