tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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