He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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