Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
