I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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