You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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