i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How does one acquire holy water?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
