Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
