I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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