That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
