Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
