the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
