He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
