I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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