: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
