Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
