I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
