This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
