Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
