How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am midnight drunk by noon
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize