think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
