Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
