Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
