So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
