wanna go halves on a baby?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
