I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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