I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
