so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize