First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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