this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
