Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
