Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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