He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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