Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
smell my finger.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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