I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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