your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So vagazzling was a success
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
