Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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