White coat. Heels.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize