I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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