Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it was like eating out sand paper
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have already put on my inside pants.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
